At 127.0.0.1 with a javaHolic…the soapbox

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Early mornings with the blinded masses

misguided by fake smiles and grim laughter

Morning meetings to discuss more meetings

Superficial greetings and self –esteems of those who’ve apparently

undergone all sorts of verbal lashings and terrible beatings…lifetime upon lifetime

 Boost me from all of the madness…is this really what I want?

Emails back and forth about potential sales,

last night’s janitor clearly mistook my software collection for Braille.

Selfish twistories and all sorts of vindictive summaries upon negative glory.

Religious arguments…Wait!  Its 8.a.m. can we all just be friends

Live as people and not animals until the end…or perhaps at least 5pm?

I can tell you this I don’t need the last case of “Mondays” on my file again

Was it the 4 cups of your caffeine, I’ve been clean from nicotine for a while now…oh I get it

 Maybe the long hours and lack of raises again?

My work performance wouldn’t show that my bank account is still low

And on top of the matter by which I do reach social security’s age it will have shattered.

May I cash out now?

May I lash out now?

With a smile and my renunciation I can find my own emancipation…awaiting

Spain…Croatia…perhaps a cozy little corner of Jamaican soil.

Undecided somewhere on an island if you fail to hear anything from me all’s well.

South Coast, Slavonia…nature calls, who needs Dell?

Eggs boiled, catch of the day…my bagel will be fresh, and non-toxic…and you coffee too…then again with so much of that true life around

I probably wouldn’t need any of you.

For now to wake me up and get me through

these Excel spreadsheets, audits, fake rapports,

inventory, presentations, escalations,

blasphemy of all sorts just to do it all again tomorrow.

The Rights of Life Come with Sacrifice…Freedom

“You mean I can’t stay here forever?”

This seems to be the question many find themselves asking as death creeps onto the doorsteps of life.  The bad news is…at some point you’re going to die.  The good news is….well, you’re going to die.  The fear of death is one I overcame at a very young age that I attest mainly to my fascination for the spiritual & unknown.  As far back as I can remember the fascination of life and death only grew after a near death experience(drowning).  From that point on, the mystery that so many fear became a tool for truly LIVING.  After the death of my dear godmother, grandmother, other relatives, and friends the thought of no longer being in the physical seemed to be more intriguing than frightening.

If we place those fears and distractions aside for a moment there is so much more to life that we fail to see.  Live everyday like it’s your last and the worry of death tends to fade.  Exercise your right in servitude and the solemnness will slowly  die.  That’s my mantra.  I find it disturbing that we still fear one another simply because of the color of ones skin, or the god they may worship.  Why can’t we all just be?

I recently had a conversation with my mother who I believe is beginning to go through a denial of death.  To deny death is to shun life, for it is another chapter in this journey.  Besides, you can deny it as much as you want…it’s still going to happen.   In the book,” The Many Faces of Death” by Jacqui James she states,”

One of the faces of death, a very common one, is the

terrified face. It is the face seen by those who have ignored

death throughout their lives and who have

refused point blank either to talk or to think about death,

regarding the subject as morbid and one which, if

indulged in, would hasten their own deaths.

This superstitious attitude is a common human failing:

‘ignorance’ of anything found unpleasant or threatening.

 

This is so true and the face that I firmly believe mother is dealing with.  I’ve tried comfort but that doesn’t fly over too well.  I’m at peace simply knowing that I have attempted.  With the recent loss of her brother and close friend in her religious sect, time is slowly withering away and she is now realizing this.  The relationship I have with her is one that has been off and on, for years for a number of reasons.  One of those reasons has been my determination to follow a path of my own; straying away from the limitations and struggles of so many “religions” these days.  Following a path of my own I was able to awaken the Giant within & overcome those difficulties that many face when it comes to creation, life and death. Once embarking on this voyage of self and harmonizing the world within, the hereafter is no more of a threat  to me than say, a morning jog, or going to the grocery store.  I find it saddening when I look in her eyes and others who’ve followed the tutelage of so-called “leaders” or sects whose only true motive is profit- only to find them suffering and fearful in the end?  To be misled and not ask why is asking for your own demise in any case.  I pray that some sort of solace does rise in their hearts and minds.  Death is something that is within each and every one of us when we are born.  Death is the quiet passenger tagging along on this highway of experiences.   Along the way, it simply became another one of the fears we conjured up to this point in life.  We have yet to scratch the surface of the “tomb” that we currently embody as life.  From the most logically perspective, how can you be afraid of something you know nothing about?

 

At some point, we must all fly away … Maybe we’ll meet again next lifetime…

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